The Braves Are Moving To Cobb County And I Don't Care

(Don't mind the mohawked homie to the left--that's just Chief Noc-A-Homa, a friendly Native American who enjoys laughing at all of you who thought the Braves gave a shit about Mechanicsville, Atlanta or anything in general besides money, and who  finds it especially hilarious that you've caught feelings about a Major League Baseball team surprisingly not having a phuck to give about your feelings.)

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The Braves are leaving town! Shit yeah!!

No really, this is good, if not great news. First of all, traffic entering/exiting downtown Atlanta will get waaaaaaay better on the connector, which has been getting progressively worse every damn day. Second, it's not like the Braves are winners or anything. Maybe being out there in Cobb will help them focus, because Cobb County sucks even worse than Atlanta pro sports. No distractions! And third, I love how they're saying that they want to be in Cobb County because there are mass transportation issues. Does that mean that Cobb County is finally going to stop being, ahem, particular about allowing public transit systems to come through its neighborhoods? Probably not. I'm sure there'll be a train station with no buses that lands right at this stadium, meaning that you're batshit crazy if you thought you were about to cruise around Cobb County on some type of street car that picks you up from the stadium. Hell nah. They can't arrest you on a street car, and don't you know what COBB stands for? Speaking of which, who the hell besides Cobb County residents wants to go all the way to Cobb County just to watch the Braves lose? Pssheeeeit...

Quote: "The Braves brushed over the fact that MARTA doesn't even serve Cobb County, which has long rejected efforts to bring rapid transit to the suburbs and chose to develop its own limited, bus-only system."--ESPN

Chief Noc-A-Homa say: "ATL officially Tomahawk-Chopped and screwed."
*walks away, chucks the deuces using the A-Town Down foam hand, and hitting the peace pipe